Hi Nicole —

Thanks for reading, sharing your thoughts, and keeping the conversation going.

After doing some research for this piece and in speaking with my husband, I think the answer to your question is complex — as is almost every aspect of sexual assault.

My husband said he was too drunk and confused to react. This woman was over 10 years his senior and said she was going to take care of him. He was taught to respect women and not to be rude. Looking back, he also worries that if he would have said something or done something she may have tried to turn the tables on him out to protect herself. Based on the responses I’ve received here and knowing the system views women as victims and men as aggressors 99% of the time, that worry seems fairly justified.

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