Hi Charlotte —
Thank you for reading and also for posing questions. I appreciate the respectful tone you have taken and I will try to answer them as best I can without causing you anxiety over a confrontation. I’m a life-long people-pleaser so I don’t love confrontation either, friend :)
Most sexual assault has some form of a power dynamic, this woman preyed upon a kid who had turned 18 only days before this happened and was intoxicated. She also led him to her home, where she knew she would be in control.
I didn’t mention men raping other men because that is not part of this story. I’m not an expert, I’m just sharing an experience to bring attention to the nuance of sexual assault and hopefully help anyone else who suffered in silence feel validated that their experience mattered too.
Your argument that men do not endure what women do is valid — but irrelevant. No one will ever have the same sexual assault experience as anyone else.
This wasn’t about comparing who has it worst or what is most traumatic — that is not productive and who the heck are we to judge that?
The bottom line is that gender-based stereotypes hurt everyone.